Life Lessons From Paris

Living Alone in Paris taught me so many life lessons.

And life is sometimes contradictory, sometimes tiring, sometimes wonderful, and always changing. I'm grateful to be swept along by the river of time, and hold on to the few constants that ground me through it all.

For all seven life lessons, head over to my YouTube channel @nittanybiggs and watch the full vlog!

Life Lesson #1: Big Joy and Little Joy are the same

[Excerpt from my Diary: February, 2024]

I’ve heard it said that Big joy and little joy are actually the same; in your body and for your soul.

And when I heard that, I thought it was probably true. But I didn’t fully understand it until I laid down on a picnic bench in between classes. It was the first truly warm day since I moved to Paris. 

I let the warmth soak over me, and remembered that I’ll always have that: the sun. No matter where I am.

Even during times of my life when I was in situations or places that made me feel overwhelmingly bad, I was still able to lay in the grass and listen to birds, and let the sun warm me from the inside out. 

And now, I’m in Paris, living out a childhood dream, and I’m so grateful and so happy to get to do this. The sun is soaking into me, and I’m realizing that it really is the same: this big joy and little joy. 

The joy of laying in the sun in my dream city, listening to birds and construction, brings me the same joy it did when I laid in the sun after high school, listening to birds and the stillness of seclusion, catching my breath from a time of my life that was exhausting.

In the good parts and bad parts of our lives, remember that the little joys are enough. And Spring will come. And we will always have the sun. 

Life Lesson #3: You are the Director, Producer, & Main Character of Your Life- Romanticize It! 

Imagine your life is a film, and you are the main character.

Eventually, you’ll start seeing the world in cinematic colors. Every coffee cup has its place, each incredible view is underscored by an epic soundtrack. 

You’ll begin to romanticize every detail of life.

You are not only the main character of your life, but the Writer, Director, and Producer. You write your script. You decide where the main character goes, what they do, what they wear, who they talk to, how they talk, how they carry themselves in this world. You choose the setting, the characters, the tone. You’re in charge of world-building. At least, it’s your decision how you view the world that exists already.

If your life is a movie, then it is yours to create. That is both a responsibility and a relief. Be intentional with your choices- will yours be a romance? Or a tragedy? 

Will you be brave enough to do things for the plot? Can you shift your perspective- see failure as an opportunity for character growth, and not the end of the film? 

Your film is whatever you make it! So make it one you would love to watch back over at the end. 

Life Lesson #5: Wherever You Go, There You Are

I think some quiet, naive part of me believed that moving to my dream city would cure me of my disabilities. That it would solve all my problems. That my environment could change the structure of my brain. 

Not so.

Because when I moved to Paris and found that all my struggles had moved along with me, I felt a little betrayed. 

It took some conscious unpacking to realize where that feeling stemmed from, but once I unearthed that deep, felt belief, we had a little chat. 

Changing one’s environment can alleviate symptoms of disability. For example, France’s culture is slower and more relaxed than America’s fast-paced capitalistic culture, making France a healthier environment for people who struggle to keep up.

While living in Paris, I was more mindful and meditative, and far less stressed out.

However, my disability didn’t go away altogether. It’s part of me and always will be. That’s okay. Embracing my disability is a long-term dance that flows back and forth between grief and joy, shame and acceptance. 

Wherever you go, there you are. You bring all your baggage along- literally and metaphorically- and your disability doesn’t take a vacation, even if you do. 

In other words, you can’t run from your struggles if the turmoil is within yourself.

…You could unravel it somewhere prettier than home, though, if you choose. 

When I moved to Paris, my dad commented on my Seasonal Depression, asking “Why are you going to Paris in the Winter? You’ll be depressed!” I replied, a little cheekily, “Better to be depressed in Paris than depressed anywhere else.” 

Fair enough.

My point is: that if you are a soul searcher or running away from something, hoping that travel can heal you- well, it can in some ways. But probably not how you hope. 

You can run as far as you like, but you can’t run from yourself.

Accepting that can embolden you to turn around and face all the parts of you you’re ignoring.

Once you accept yourself, struggles and all, you can stop wasting energy shaming yourself for things you can’t control or change, and start directing your energy towards finding solutions that actually work for you—solutions that are realistic and that honor your limits and struggles without shaming you for them.

Final Thoughts

I moved across the ocean to live alone in a city where I didn’t know anyone and didn’t speak the language. I guess it’s understandable that I faced some challenges along the way.

Travel has a way of holding up a mirror, forcing you to confront parts of yourself that you’ve gotten used to. New environments expose weaknesses you haven’t had to deal with in your comfort zone. It challenges your worldview.

While this can be uncomfortable, it is also an opportunity for growth.

You have the chance to expand your perspective, define your values, and meet yourself where you are, as you are. 

Maybe you can’t escape yourself by moving—but you can expand yourself by traveling and absorbing life lessons from everywhere life takes you.